3 Jars

Title: THREE JARS
Medium: Acrylic on Canvas
Dimensions: 14x20 inches

At looong last, I already finished the jars painting! Whew! Jee said it looks really nice and asked me to teach him how to paint. Well, it really pays to have an automatic fan..hehehe!

My ultrasound moments

Finding out that I'm pregnant on the first week of Christmas month was one of the early gifts I received last year. I never expected to get pregnant anymore, not after a long time of waiting to conceive. I was already resigned with the idea; I thought God would want me to just take care of my only child, Jee. So, normally, the feelings were mixed. Surprise, confusion, anxiety, and above all, joy took over me all at the same time when I looked at the second pregnancy test kit bearing the two red lines.

But, what I really want to talk about are my ultrasound moments.

My OB-GYN asked me to have a transvaginal ultrasound after my first pre-natal visit with her. I did what I was asked to do; then visited her again for the interpretation of the results. The image above was the image results of the scan. I don't know how to read the scan reports, but I know that subchorionic hemorrhage spells trouble to me and my baby. The symptoms were what led me and my family to do the pregnancy test. I was feeling tummy aches frequently then; after treating it with several medicines, laxatives and massages, we decided to test just to be sure. The tummy aches turned out to be painful contractions from the placenta which has a blood clot. The blood clot was almost one fourths of my placenta. However, the doc said not to panic since it might go away with strong medicines and bed rest. What?! Total bed rest?! This was my reaction. In my mind, the upcoming events and family time rushed through.


Truthfully, with the doc's advice heeded, I started to feel less and less contractions. But with the seasons travels and excitements (read: stress), here's the result of my 2nd ultrasound: the hemorrhage got bigger and I was ordered "total bedrest" that time. Mini-me then was in real danger. In my mind, a quick but solemn prayer formed: "Lord, please take care of my baby." The medicine I was taking was double-dosed as well.
Last march, doc said the hemorrhage was totally gone! Whew! But I couldn't risk my baby again. I still continued the bed rest, although I would do some light chores already and walk short distances.

And just this month, my recent abdominal ultrasound result showed a very healthy baby at 24 weeks 3 days (on April 16) with a very good fetal heart rate. The heart beats sounded like that of a running horse...hahaha! The scan was primarily intended to know my mini-me's gender, but with the baby's quick movements while the ultrasound was being performed, the sonographer told us she's only 70% sure the baby's a GIRL! 70% means a lot to me! Weee!

And as a bonus, our baby girl waved to us, especially to Kuya Jee (we believe, since he was the one talking to the baby that time), showing her five tiny fingers in an open-palm image scan below.

Luna, I

Luna I
Originally uploaded by jsiwala21

At the height of my youthful idealism ( synonymous to feminism) in college, I made this 3x3 ft oil painting as an entry to the Metrobank Youth Art Competition (2000). My son was just several months old then, so while I was juggling school, university work (for extra income) and motherhood, I would paint on our bed while baby-sitting. The strong odor of oil paints was not really healthy for the baby nor me, so I would wait for the paint layers to dry a bit before continuing. Waiting means 2 or 3 days. Deadline was fast approaching then, so I'd work more and more hours during night time when my baby was already sleeping or during my thesis time; I'd multi-task.


Why Luna, I?

The moon on the woman's left eye is a nudge; a wake-up call for her to stand up for everything that matters to her. Luna was my symbol of strength and courage then; and now. Luna is another name for the moon. It also symbolizes the woman's characters; strengths and flaws alike. It symbolizes women. I am Luna reincarnated, this I'd like to claim; thus, Luna, I.

P.S.
It didn't make it to the finals of the competition nor the semi-finals; but this painting already saw many walls and homes and chapters of my life. From our family home to the walls of a bank for entry exhibit to a friend's house and the walls of my former houses here in Cebu up to the art exhibit I have organized in Casino Espanol in 2008. And now here in my lovely home with my lovely family. We, Luna and I, are celebrating our 10th year of togetherness this month of April.

*Being my own Bo's...

I always love siding with the underdogs; so between Bo's Coffee (a local coffee club chain) and Starbucks, I remained loyal to the former for so long. I don't work in a 9-5 environment. My time is erratic as an eventologist. So whenever I had to meet clients, suppliers, and the likes, I would head to Bo's (the one in front of Cebu Doctor's Hospital in Capitol area)and order my favorite brewed coffee in paper cup (with cover, please)at any time of the day. Sorry to the environmentalists; but I prefer paper cups than mugs since I'm soo clumsy I can spill anything all the time. With the paper cup with cover, I'm almost always safe from possible 1st or maybe 2nd degree burns from my coffee. For several years, Bo's had been a part of my routine, uhurm, my everyday routine. It's not just the coffee nor the paper cup with cover option that made me loyal to Bo's. I think it's the company and the friendly smiles and extras (like free parking, free wi-fi connection and errand-running by their janitor or guard during off duty) that I get from it. I met a lot of people from different walks of life in Bo's. There's this group of lawyers and writers, another is a group of entrepreneurs and racketeers, also a set of judges and big political figures frequent it. Others are students studying for their midterms or board exams, people from organizations like Jaycees and Rotary, and lots of old friends from my many-faceted life. Oops, let's not forget our "drug-pushing friends" from different pharmaceutical companies, of course. Well, my then best friend shared the same "Bo's sentiments" with me, in fact it was her who influenced me in "Bo's-going."

I don't regret spending too much time in Bo's; in fact I believe I became a better me because of my extensive interactions with other people while sipping my fave coffee brew. However, people change and so does the Bo's Coffee experience. Tagay!

*My little horse or witch boy?

johnrey and jee0003.jpg
Originally uploaded by jsiwala21

This photo was taken about 6 years ago when Jee was around 4 years old in our St. Michael Village house in Banilad. He was with his nanny who's cleaning the poolside one afternoon. My playful child, instead of helping his nanny, got the broom, rode on it and dragged it around the yard maybe imagining that he was some sort of a horseman in the olden times shouting "yah-hee-yahhh-hee-yah!"

NOTE: In Russia, a horseman in a cavalry is called ULAN (according to my friend, Petr). I'm contemplating the name ULAN (as nickname) for my mini-me, Julianne. Got the connection? Hmm...

*Art and art patrons

While I was googling my name earlier for vanity's sake [yes, i get that state of mind a lot, too :-)] I came across this blog post by a fellow coffee-drinker at Bo's Coffee(Capitol), Karlon, about my art event in Casino Espanol. He writes for a local daily here in Cebu; a columnist. I didn't invite him then, knowing he was more into police upbeat matters or Arnis or local judicial topics and the likes. But, a common friend of ours whom I invited brought him along. Hope he enjoyed the soothing music by the quartet, the salsa dance numbers by the Cebu City Dancesport Team and the fine food and wines we served during the aesthetically-full night of "female forms" in canvas.

Here's his full write-up about the said event:

I went to a nude painting session at the Casino Español yesterday evening (Sept. 30).

It was organized by Jaq Siwala, a fellow habitué of that Bo’s Coffee branch across Cebu Doctors’ Hospital and offered everything that nude painting sessions promise – art on display.

It was a classy affair.

An acoustic band played soft jazz on the riser in that rather large second-floor room; left from the stairs case and then straight.

People were semi-formally dressed and wine, one simply must serve wine in affairs costing P1000 a ticket, flowed.

Beneath the riser was a chair. And on that chair, a model – stoic in expression – revealed and revealed all.

Painters, no, artists, stood facing her. Hard at work, they were, capturing the scene into lines and whorls of ink over canvass.

We, the audience, stood too, hard and unmoving; mesmerized by the regal disclosure we had been blessed to witness.

Ah, the fine line between ogling and art appreciation.

*In deep mourning...

The title defines it all. I'm still sad about what happened.

The other day I was heartbroken when the one person I regarded as my closest friend showed her true colors, the kind of color one will never put as his/her favorite in slum books. Meaning it's something unacceptable; something pointing towards the darker side. I didn't realize how mean her text message was until I reread it many times. Why? Because she was the last person outside my family I would expect to mean harm and rudeness to me. Why? Because she was already part of my family. Why? Because that's how deeply I cared for and loved her; same as my own family, already a sister to me. I can answer a lot of WHYs about my friend, but the one WHY I can't answer is "Why she's done it to me?"

No matter how I racked my brain looking for grave reasons for her to just throw away our friendship like that, I can't find one. Some loved ones and other friends offered a ton of logical reasons what turned her foul on me. I listened, considered. But in my heart of hearts, I can't accept them, not yet. Just like a terminally-ill patient hearing for the first time the bad news, I was in denial. It's not happening! Not to us. That's what my mind kept on repeating, trying to shun away the bad feeling.

Now I am progressing, that's how I'd like to think. After the denial, came the acceptance; and then I started to mourn. I'm mourning for the death of an almost 10-year old friendship I nurtured and loved so well that I felt a part of me died with it. Farewell to you my friend...lalalala lala...(sigh, and another sigh).

*Our 1st 3-D Experience

We picked up Al from the pier and drove right away to SM to watch the Clash of the Titans in 3D! Jee and I were so excited since it was going to be our first 3D experience, and we heard it's gonna be awesome. I'm not going to talk about the film itself. I'll spare myself from doing a movie review with this one, but here's a good review about "Clash of the Titans."

After eating our individual share of sausage meals ( Jee had Jumbo hotdog sandwich, Al had something i don't remember but still resembles a sausage, and I had Hungarian sausage sandwich from Flame It!), we fell on the very looong line of ticket holders for the 3D experience. It's free seating, so that explains the long line. Everyone wants to occupy the nicest seat to maximize the P250 per seat. Why there was buzzing and humming sounds around, I'm not quite sure what to tag them. What I knew then was that Jee was willing to line up with Al, which he doesn't usually have patience for. Also, I noticed I was smiling and very patient waiting for them to call me to the line when it's already near the gate since I was just seated and waiting all because I have a big baby bump.

Then, at the gates, some cinema aides gave each one of us a pair of 3D glasses we all wore even before the 3D movie started. That's how excited we were! We were treated to several 3D movie trailers before the the main 3D experience opening billboard. There were words swinging and moving in an amazing manner, and some balls almost hit us, especially Jee, who almost docked in his seat thinking he's being targeted! Whew! That was fun! Everybody in the room laughed about the experience, giggling and tossing and turning in our seats awaiting for the main showing. During the film showing, Jee and I kept on taking off and putting back on our 3D glasses trying to compare the results with or without it. I felt silly doing it but can't help it, after all, nobody's gonna look at me strangely or mockingly since it was dark inside the theater. Maybe everyone was doing it, especially, those like me and Jee experiencing this 3D thing for the first time. So, I just kept on doing so until the very end of the movie.

I said I won't talk like a movie critic, remember? No, not this time. Maybe when I watch another Leonardo di Caprio acting-intense movie or another Steven Spielberg film, I might consider it. So, this is it. I just wanted to share our first 3D experience. I hope it's enough for now.:-)Lingaw!

*The Artist in Me

The last painting that I finished is my "Sea Nymph In Blue Major." I call it that way since I was supposed to make it in blue monochrome but later decided to add very contrasting colors of red and yellow above the figure of the nymph. I finished it in a month's time last 2007, a very relaxed phase. Then, I stopped painting.

Last year while having extra money (just a little money) to spend for my eternal list of off-and-on hobbies, I found again the impulse to paint. With the remaining not-so-dry acrylic paints I still got, I found my way painting or struggling to paint 3 jars in different sizes and shapes on a canvas. Then after putting the base color of brown, I stopped painting again.

It's just a few weeks ago that I again picked up my paints and paint brushes to try and finish painting the jars on my canvas, thanks to my hot boring afternoons and the need to do something worthwhile while impregnated... Please don't get me wrong, I love having this preggy bump and the months of waiting for the baby to come out. It's the idleness that I can't stand and so this led me to paint again, and maybe stop again. I don't know, who knows what tomorrow brings. All I know now is the artist in me is just around and always ready for me when I call on it. :-)

*My mini-mees!

*Another mini-me on the way!

My son, Jeo, is my male version. He looks just like me. His eyes, nose, mouth and ears are like mine. His feet, hands and skin are just the same as mine: ginger-form, big, and dark, respectively. Even in mannerisms and allergies, we are very much alike! One can only count our differences in one hand. Number one is gender. Nevertheless, Jeo is my carbon-copy, my clone, or in more modern terms my mini-me.

But, we've got a new baby on the way! I'm already 24 weeks pregnant to a still gender-unknown baby. My baby bump is now so big and heavy I could barely walk continuously for more than half an hour. And I often have lower back pains if I stay in one position (sitting, standing or lying down on bed) for an hour or so. Yet I don't mind these difficulties at all. All I want now is to know if my next mini-me would be another boy or a girl this time. Tomorrow is exciting! We are planning to have the pregnancy ultrasound to determine the gender of the baby. I'm crossing my fingers, and I'm praying for a healthy baby girl.